The Librarian and the Mayor - What Really Happened
by CobblepotsComfort
Summary: Oswald goes to see Isabella to try to dissuade her from seeing Ed - and gets more than he bargained for!
1. Chapter 1

**The Librarian and the Mayor - what really happened**

"Oh, hello, Mr Mayor….what an honour…"

Isabella felt herself begin to blush. She subconsciously, and self-consciously, patted down her dress and touched her hair.

He came! She knew he would….her plan had paid off….

"What can I do for you?" She fought further blushes as she imagined just what she might be able to do for him. What she wanted to do for him….

He explained that he wanted to do some research on Gotham's oldest families. She sensed that this was a rouse. He was getting round to asking what she was doing with his chief-of-staff. "Well, nothing - yet!" she thought to herself, eyeing him closely and smiling to herself. "Not half of the things that I'd just love to do to you!"

Why bother with the monkey when you could have the organ grinder? She'd had no idea how blue his eyes really were..and all that fierce raven hair was a dream..that campaign poster just hadn't done him justice at all….

"I came here on recommendation - from my chief-of-staff...I believe you know him?" He looked at her with a big, suggestive smile and a tilt of the head. His eyes dazzled at her and the dimples in his cheeks grew. She felt her knees buckle.

"Oh, yes - Ed," she replied, looking as coy as she could manage. She had to play the part of a sweet, innocent girl, and she seemed to be doing OK so far.

She had guessed that Oswald would be bound to come and check her out - she knew he was probably quite protective of Edward, and wanted to make sure his new girlfriend wasn't a floozy - and she was very glad that he had taken the bait so easily.

So now she had the chance to check HIM out - and, as she had expected, she really liked what she saw….

"Anyway", she said, cutting him off just as he was about to speak again, "Mr Mayor - the books you want to look at are in our archive room - it's just over there, let me take you to it."

This was a lie - there was no archive room, but there was a rather over-sized broom cupboard. This would be the perfect setting for what she wanted to say ….and do….

"Oh - very well," he said, looking a bit puzzled, and followed her. On the way he began telling her about 'Poor Ed," and how down he had been 'since leaving Arkham." She knew all about this too of course. She had done her homework! She played along.

"Goodness me - don't people go there typically for...murder?"

"Well, I make it a policy not to gossip about staff, but...yes…." He smiled confidentially. She inwardly smiled too.

They reached the door and she turned to him, mimicking shock.

"So..so Ed is a murderer? Oh my goodness - and I was alone with him!" Her eyes opened wide and she looked at Oswald with a horrified expression.

"And..and you, Mr Mayor...do you feel..safe with him?"

She opened the door to the closet as she spoke. She beckoned him inside.

"Well..now you come to mention it..." he began awkwardly, then as he walked through the door, he stopped talking and his smile faded and changed to a look of bewilderment.

"Do you feel safe with ME, Mr Mayor?" she smirked, and pushed him inside, closing the door behind them swiftly.

"What the…?" Oswald faltered, and she advanced on him, and took hold of him by the tie. He started and his eyes almost popped out of his head.

"You don't think I'm really interested in ED, do you?" she hissed.

"Miss..Miss..erm, Isobel….I mean, Isabella...what is the meaning of this?" he faltered again, his initial confusion turning to severe indignation.

She pulled him closer. "Oh, Mr Mayor - what big eyes you have!"

"Let go of me, you crazy woman!" he protested angrily, pushing her away. But she kept a strong hold on his tie, almost throttling him in the process.

He choked and then spat furiously. "Unhand me I say, or...or there will be CONSEQUENCES!" he glared at her threateningly, and struggled a bit more. She released her grip.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, did I hurt you? Oh dear, I didn't mean to...I just...had to be alone with you, Oswald….and...close to you..."

"Stop right there - and don't call me Oswald!" he snapped petulantly.

He dusted himself down. He stood there and faced her off. She had backed off and he didn't feel threatened any more, but…..he had to know why….

"What was that little display all about?" he said sternly.

"Well, Mr Mayor - I hoped that would be obvious…."

"But - what about Ed?" he had started off jealous, and determined to end Ed and Isabella's relationship - but now he felt indignant and sorry on Ed's behalf instead.

"He was a means to an end. To meeting you. I just had to….meet you, Mr Mayor. I've had a huge crush on you ever since I saw you...on that campaign poster..."

Oswald stood there and shook his head slowly. He felt like he had stepped into a parallel universe….

"Right," he said stiffly. "So you thought you'd get to me by pretending to be in love with Ed? Is this some kind of weird joke?"

"No, no, Os -Mr Mayor, it's not! I'm deadly serious! I think you're - well, very handsome! And I saw you make your campaign speeches on the tv - you were - so inspiring!" Her eyes teared up with emotion as she remembered what a great orator he was.

"You made a mere librarian feel like she could be anything - anyone she desired! And WHAT I desire most...is you, Mr Mayor!"

"Oh my God - this just can't be happening!" Oswald face-palmed himself.

"But it is, Ozzy, it is..." She advanced on him again, coming in close. "Why don't you kiss me, Mr Mayor? As a loyal constituent….surely you want to keep your voters happy?"

"Get away!" he snapped, batting her hands away and backing into the door. "Honestly - how could you?!"

"Easily, Mr Mayor - I find you irresistible! Don't you find me..attractive?" She batted her eyelashes.

"Stop that! Don't you hear yourself, Miss - erm…."

"Newlove. My name is Newlove. Rather apt, don't you think? Why don't you answer my question - Oswald? Are you shy?"

"Shy?! Don't be ridiculous! I just don't..I don't…...for God's sake, woman! How could you do this to Ed?!" His eyes flashed at her with rage.

"Why do you care?" Then, her expression changed. Something had dawned on her….there was something about his eyes...

"Oh...my God…..you love Ed!" She was full of amazement….and disappointment….

"I...erm…" he faltered, eyelashes fluttering, mouth agape with panic.

"You **are** in love with Ed!" she repeated, her face grimacing. "Damn! This is just my luck!" She folded her arms and pursed up her lips.

He stood there breathing hard. He started to feel for the door knob whilst not taking his eyes away from her. He had to get away but didn't want to turn his back on her….she was clearly unhinged….

"Why me?" she continued, muttering as if to herself. "I should have known it. All the gorgeous ones are married, crazy, or gay! Typical!"

He managed to grasp hold of the door knob and twisted it desperately. "Well, c'est la vie!" he shrugged, trying to humour her. Then he pulled open the door and prepared to slip out.

"And where do you think you're going? I haven't finished with you yet!"

"I'm leaving - and you're not going to stop me!"

"If you try and escape now I'll scream!"

"Well go on then - do your worst!" he said defiantly.

"Hmmm, I can just see the headlines now….Gotham's Mayor caught in closet with librarian…'I didn't touch her!' he says. But do we believe him?"

"What? You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh - wouldn't I?" She takes a deep breath and prepares to scream.

"Stop, stop!" he cries desperately. Then he sighs, smiles stiffly and looks at her archly. "What do you want from me, then?"


	2. Isabella and Oswald Make Plans

**Isabella and Oswald Make Plans**

"What do I want from you? Hmmm, well, you know what I want, but I guess that's out of the question now," she shrugged. "Unless..well, you're not into girls as well are you?" she added hopefully.

"I shan't dignify that question with a response!" he sniffed.

"Ah, so that means no, then. What a pity!" She sighed.

"Ppft!" he retorted disdainfully. Even if he hadn't been gay he was sure Isabella wouldn't have been his type.

"But….well, I would still like to be close to you. Yes, as long as I can be close to you, I will be happy with that - for now, anyway." She sighed and glanced over him suggestively. He shuddered.

She looked at him meaningfully and smiled sweetly. "Do you have a library in your big old mansion, Mr Mayor?"

"Well, yes, I do actually," he began proudly, forgetting himself. "It's very impressive, lots of old books and….ohhh no...no, no no! You are **not** coming to work for me…."

Isabella took a big breath in again and prepared to let out the air in a dramatic way. She had strong lungs and clearly wasn't afraid to use them.

"Wait!" He moved forward and clasped his hand over her mouth.

He was tempted to draw out his knife, but this place was too public, despite this being inside a broom cupboard - and that would still be too messy. The Mayor of Gotham couldn't be seen leaving the library covered in blood. It would be far too incriminating, with too many witnesses.

No, he had to think of something better than that. Meanwhile, he had to humour her somehow….

"Well, I suppose I could do with some help," he said reluctantly, and placatingly.

"There you go!" she beamed. "I knew you'd come through for me...Mr Mayor, sir!"

"Erm….so - what about Ed?" he added more tentatively. He felt so bad for him! Isabella had used him. And now she proposed hanging around the mansion, where she knew Ed was bound to be too. "Won't this make things..awkward?" he understated.

"Why, of course not. I shall go on seeing him - it will be the perfect cover for us!""

Oswald rolled his eyes and sighed with exasperation. "Cover - for US? Hello, earth to Isabella - you and I are **not** a couple! There is NO US! And besides, I won't allow it. You can't deceive Ed like that."

"Me deceive Ed? No, of course **I** won't! **WE** will be deceiving him, Oswald. And you will have to allow it. You know you have to."

Oswald bristled. "And how do you suggest I explain to him why I suddenly hired you like that?"

"You will think of something, Mr Mayor. You are very clever - I do know that!" She simpered. "Ah, I know - how about you want to give true love a helping hand?"

"True love?!"

"Yes, Oswald, only, actually it will be my true love for you!"

"Love for me?! If you loved me you'd leave me alone, and Ed too!" he rasped, an angry sob in his voice. "You really are twisted, woman! And now, if you don't mind - I really am leaving!"

"Of course - you know you were always free to leave - Oswald! Just remember to have my contract drawn up, and tell Ed the joyous news!" She smirked. Oswald grimaced.

Oswald turned away and slipped out of the broom cupboard, making sure not there was no-one around to notice him, and then limped out of the library and into the street outside as fast as he could. He needed air. He felt weary. He felt as if he was living in a dreamscape, a place that didn't really exist. A fuzzy grey cloud was hanging around in his head like smog.

Isabella - a femme fatale, and a blackmailer! Infatuated with him! He couldn't have made it up….it was all so unreal….a nightmare! And he could tell Edward nothing about it….her threats had made that plain.

But he had to get his head together..and think what to do about the Isabella Problem….

She had to go. But it had to be planned carefully...with Gabe's help.

It had to look like an accident...it just had to!


	3. Isabella Does It By the Book

**Isabella Does it by the Book**

"Don't forget, Oswald - today we have to visit the school…"

"Oh - yes - the school - of course, the children," Oswald said with a heavy sigh.

He had been enjoying his leisurely breakfast with Ed - they had both had soft boiled eggs and toasted soldiers, with sweet strong black coffee, in perfect and comfortable silence, whilst waiting for the ominous presence of Isabella, who, thankfully, had overslept today. However, he had rather not reflect on the possible reasons for that, as he had plainly overheard it when he had passed their bedroom door before retiring last night. He shuddered at the memory of it.

Just at that moment Isabella walked in and heard their conversation.

"Good morning, both," she said sweetly, and went and gave Ed an emphatic kiss - making Ed grin widely and Oswald's stomach lurch.

"You are visiting the schools today? How nice. You know, I heard that Mayor James used to read to the children. Wasn't that good of him?" She beamed brightly.

"Erm, no, actually - Mayor James is illiterate, Miss Newlove," Oswald replied archly, smiling stiffly at her. "It's well-documented."

"Oh. That's a shame," Isabella sighed, feigning deep regret. "Well….I could come along and read to them, if you like. After all - I do work with books all day long! I would love to help - Mr Mayor." She smiled demurely.

Oswald opened his mouth to protest, but Ed cut in, "Oh, Isabella - what a neat idea! You could go to the school with Oswald while I stay here and hold the fort!"

"Erm...Ed…." Oswald faltered, the hairs standing up on the back of his neck.

"Yes, Ed, that's a very good idea! That's - erm - if Os - the Mayor, I mean - agrees, of course…" Isabella looked deferential.

"Oh, of course he would be fine with that - wouldn't you, Oswald?"

The look on Ed's face was enough for Oswald. He knew he had no choice.

"Yes, that would be fine, I suppose..." he began, with a tight-lipped smile.

"Oh, that's wonderful! I will just go and make myself look presentable. Oh, I am so looking forward to this!" she butted in gleefully.

Oswald's heart sank.

She hurried away, casting a secret glance of triumph at Oswald as she passed him. He inwardly bristled, but put a big smile on his face for Ed's benefit.

"Oswald - this is a really generous thing for you to do!" smiled Ed, full of gratitude. "It will mean so much to Isabella. And you can get to know her more too. I really, really appreciate this."

He came forward, put his arms around Oswald and gave him a huge, heartfelt hug. Oswald returned the gesture, almost melting in his arms. Maybe it would be worth it after all….

He squeezed Ed emphatically, enjoying the moment for as long as it lasted.

"No problem, Ed - I'm pleased to oblige," he rasped softly against Ed's shoulder. "Anything for you - old friend."


	4. Oswald is Almost (Wo)Manhandled

**Oswald is Almost (Wo)Manhandled.**

Isobel - Isabella - really didn't miss a trick.

If he didn't hate her so much he could almost have admired the devious way she had managed to get him alone, and away from Ed. Poor, deluded Ed!

He had dreaded the moment the car was out of sight of the house. Ed had stood there proudly watching and waving as they had driven away with a huge toothy smile, Oswald's heart sinking and his stomach turning over intensely as Isabella had smiled triumphantly, clearly eagerly awaiting the moment when Ed was out of view and she was free to do what she wanted to Oswald.

Or so she'd thought.

She pulled across the screen on the limo, after telling the driver: "So sorry, we have to talk - confidential business!"

Oswald had been horrified, although somehow, he had suspected that she might do something like that. He cursed himself for not being quicker off the mark.

But he would only stand so much.

"I'm warning you, woman!" he hissed quietly through clenched teeth - fearing that the driver might overhear him. "Don't you touch me!"

"Oh, Ozzy, really….."

"And I've told you before - don't call me that!"

He gripped his cane tightly, being quite prepared to produce the secret spike inside and run her through with it - and to hell with the consequences. He was about to tell her that, too.

"Mr Mayor, then," she resumed primly, looking hurt. "I've told you before - I won't touch a hair on your beautiful head! I just want to be near you, darling…"

"And don't call me that either!" His eyes flashed at her indignantly, but he kept his voice low. "This is a business appointment. Nothing more. I only did this for Ed."

"I know, dear….Mr Mayor, of course! It's one of the things I love about you, y'know. Your loyalty, your faithfulness to the one you love…"

"Spare me the pleasantries. I need a drink!" Oswald opened up the cabinet of booze he kept for such occasions, usually when he was alone and needing to make himself feel a little better about being on his own, and friendless. Now, ironically, he realised that there could be worse things in life than being alone.

"Os - Mr Mayor, really, should you be drinking…." Isabella began, then stopped mid-sentence as he glared at her threateningly.

"I'm warning you!" he rasped menacingly. "Either you keep quiet and behave, or you are going to be walking the rest of the way to this appointment! And I won't care what you say to Ed about that!"

She flinched and said nothing. Minor victory to me, he thought triumphantly.

He got a glass and poured in some whisky. A large measure. He didn't care.

"I don't suppose you would care to join me?" he asked cuttingly, looking askance at her archly.

She shrugged. "How long will it take to get to the school?"

"About 15 minutes." He took a big sip and felt the liquid slide soothingly and warmly down his throat. "That's better," he thought. 15 minutes would feel like 15 years in her company, maybe 30 if he were completely sober.

"In that case, then - I think I might. Do you have any vodka?"

He looked at her and gave her a withering glance. "There's nothing I don't have here, Miss Newlove. Here, choose your poison." He gestured at the cabinet. He had three different brands of vodka, all premium.

"Well!" she exclaimed, sounding impressed. "You certainly don't do anything by half measures - Mr Mayor." He just sniffed disdainfully and took another deep drink.

She glugged a large amount of spirit into her glass.

She raised her glass to him. "Here's to..."

"If you say 'us', I promise you, you will regret it!" he snarled.

"No, no, I was just going to say, "Here's to a successful visit, Mr Mayor."

He just scoffed at her and raised his eyebrow. He didn't raise his glass but just took another gulp. This visit would have been much more assured of success if he'd had Ed with him. Poor, blind Ed….

After a few gulps of whisky - an aged single malt, of course - he was feeling a little more mellow. Although he didn't want to drink too much and lose control, the alcohol was helping considerably with the pain - physical and mental. His nerves were on a knife edge and the pain in his leg didn't help improve them at all.

To his dismay, Isabella noticed the pinched look on his face and the way he was twitching and squirming in his seat, and remarked upon it accordingly.

"Oh, Os - I mean, Mr Mayor - are you feeling alright?" she asked with wide, anxious eyes.

"Me? Yes, of course I am, never better," he retorted dismissively.

"Oh - well, I would swear that you were in some kind of pain. Is it your leg?"

"I told you, I am perfectly fine…." he began petulantly, but she interrupted him.

"I don't think you are, y'know. You are just being brave. I can see it in your eyes. Oh, y'know, Os - I mean, Mr Mayor - I so admire your forti…"

"Will you cut that out? I told you not to talk that way to me…."

"Yes, yes, I know - I'm sorry. But I hate to see you in so much discomfort. You poor thing!" she simpered.

"Oh, really? If you hate seeing me in 'so much discomfort', as you put it, that much then why are you adding to it by continuing to torment me - AND Ed - with your unwelcome presence?" He took a breath from delivering his tirade and glared at her.

"Tsk tsk Mr Mayor - I think perhaps the gentleman doth protest too much!" she demurred playfully, undeterred by his aggression. "I think deep down you really do want me to rub that leg!"

"Don't you dare!" He wriggled back until he was as far away from her as he could manage. Even the spacious seat in the back of his limo wasn't wide enough to make him feel safe from her advances. "Don't you come near me!" he added with tight-lipped menace, gripping his whisky tumbler so tightly that he almost crushed it into fragments. He kept his other hand on his cane, still being prepared to strike to protect his virtue if necessary.

She pulled a face and then took another deep drink. "Be like that, then. If you'd rather be in pain for the rest of the day….I did do a course in massage, y'know - aromatherapy, to be exact."

"I don't care if you trained under the Dalai Lama - you're not laying a finger on me!"

Isabella giggled. "Oh, my, that is so witty! You are so humorous, Mr Mayor."

"I wasn't joking!"

"Awwww - I think it's the pain that's making you grumpy." She pouted sympathetically, then took another deep drink of her vodka. "Mmmm, this vodka is really smooth!" she purred. "A lot like you, Ozzy…."

"I keep telling you, woman, don't talk that way to me - and DON'T call me Ozzy!" he spat, then remembered the driver. He lowered his voice to a menacing whisper. "I mean it, y'know. You are pushing me too hard. Don't say I didn't warn you." He squeezed the handle of his cane and readied himself for battle.

Luckily for her, the driver slowed down as they approached the school. The big old building loomed up ahead of them. The Head Teacher was waiting outside to greet them, along with a small welcoming party - a mixture of children and staff.

"So, is this it?" said Isabella.

"Yes it is - oh joy!" grumbled Oswald. He had mixed feelings about this. He was glad of the chance to escape Isabella's attentions, but he never enjoyed these kinds of appointments.

"You don't like children?" she enquired, sounding a tad crestfallen.

"Well, I'm pretty ambivalent about them, really - but I must do my duty, see through my responsibilities…" Oswald sighed and looked martyred. He finished off his drink swiftly, preparing for his second big ordeal of the day.

"A very noble sacrifice, Mr Mayor!" Isabella smiled placatingly.

"Well, it's not such a bad experience if I have my chief-of-staff by my side - a comfort which you have now denied me. Thank you for that!" he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. She shrugged noncommittally.

He produced the tin of breath mints he kept in his pocket for such an occasion, popping one into his mouth, before the driver opened the door for him. He knew vodka couldn't be detected easily on the breath, so he didn't offer one to Isabella. And he also wanted to be mean to her, of course.

He got out as quickly as his leg would allow, breathing the open air with relief.

He took a deep breath, put on his fake smile and put his best foot forward, the other three following behind him like a ball and chain.


	5. Isabella Gets Ideas

**Isabella Gets Ideas**

"Why is this child sitting separately from the other children?"

Isabella had yet again muscled in on his territory. He was just about to ask that! What an annoyance this woman was being….

"Oh - he's new here."

"So? What has being new got to do with segregating him like this?" Isabella's sweet tone was clearly becoming strained.

"Well - the other children - well, they don't get along with him, you see."

"So keeping him separate from the others is supposed to help?"

"Miss Newlove - please..." Oswald laughed awkwardly, protesting through clenched teeth. He turned to the teacher. "I do apologise, Miss - erm?"

"Trump."

"Um - Miss Trump. Right. I must apologise for Miss Newlove's rather outspoken ways. She is new here also." He shot a sharp glance of warning at Isabella.

Isabella forced a smile. Then she did something unthinkable. "Excuse us a moment, please," she said, "The Mayor and I need to discuss something," and then she took Oswald firmly by the arm and started to lead him away. Oswald, completely aghast but taken completely by surprise, had no choice but to stumble along after her.

She found a quiet corner, ignoring his protestations about "What the hell was she playing at for God's sake, etc, " then turned to Oswald, coming in close, and spoke to him in a low hiss that was audible to no-one but him.

"Mr Mayor - with all due respect - do you think keeping this little boy away from his classmates is the best way to deal with things? I mean - Mr Mayor - do you agree that a special child like him - who might just be being bullied by those other children for being different - should be made to feel like he has done something wrong?"

"Erm, well - when you put it like that - I suppose not, no," Oswald faltered, blinking quickly. He had to admit - begrudgingly - that she did have a point.

"I knew you would agree." She smiled triumphantly. "Just follow my lead, Oswald - trust me, this will get you lots of brownie points with your constituents!"

She turned, straightened herself up and addressed the room with a strong, clear voice of authority that left Oswald opened mouthed and wide eyed with astonishment.

"The Mayor and I have just been discussing how we can address problems of bullying in school. He has given me his very kind permission to set up a special campaign for this very purpose. He insists that we will leave no stone unturned until every child in this city who is vulnerable ijn the classroom is given the protection, help and support they deserve."

Oswald and Isabella spent the first few minutes of their journey home just sitting without speaking - Oswald, in shocked silence at what she had done, and Isabella smiling quietly over her latest coup.

Then Oswald turned to her, his hand still gripping his cane defensively, but the frown on his face relaxing - just a little.

"Isabella - understand, this changes nothing whatsoever between us - but, I have to say, that thing you did back there - well, it was rather admirable. What made you do it?" He looked askance at her curiously.

Isabella smiled at him gratefully. She took a deep breath, then addressed him with a tremor of emotion in her voice.

"Well, for one thing, Oswald - I was like that bullied child at school. I ended up a shy, timid librarian because I could only find happiness in the pages of books, it was an escape from my real life situation. But Oswald - then I saw you, and the way you held an audience in the palm of your hand - how powerful you had become, all through your own efforts - and I also saw some pain in your eyes too, I knew you had been hurt and abused yourself. You are beautiful, Oswald, I know you don't believe it but you are. Well - anyway, you inspired me to want to be more than I am. And Oswald, I have done that, you gave me the courage to speak out just then. I am going to help you make a difference in this rotten city. I did it for people like us, Oswald - the outsiders, who no-one wants to understand. That's why I fell in love with you, and knew I would stop at nothing to be with you."

Oswald was speechless for a moment. Her words had taken his breath away, try as he might to fight it. His heart was beating so fast. It couldn't be - could it? He couldn't….he shouldn't! It just wasn't possible….

"But...but what about Ed? You can't hurt Ed!" His voice came out as a weak, quiet, rasping whisper. His eyes filled up with tears. He hung his head, closed his eyes tightly and his tears fell.

"Shhhh, Oswald. Sweet Oswald. I won't. I promise, I won't. Ed will never find out…..my love…." She took his face in her hands, lifting up his head gently, and wiped his falling tears away.


	6. Oswald is Pansexual

Oswald is Pansexual

Oswald and Isabella arrived back at the mansion in silence, Oswald escaping the limo as fast as he could, afraid of what he might be forced to say after his experience with Isabella.

They went into the living room, Oswald still shaken, and looking around fervently for Ed, who was nowhere to be seen. Oswald's nerves were in a heightened state of anxiety.

He finally turned to Isabella and addressed her.

"I can't understand it. I never thought I could feel anything for you. No, really! This makes no sense at all! I have no idea why this has happened to me. I'm confused, and let me tell you, I'm more than a little upset about it!"

"Ahhhh, Oswald - you sweet thing! And thank you for saying you like me after all. This is just wonderful news for me! Now, Oswald, listen to me - I think I know what the answer is."

"Then pray share, Miss Newlove. Clue me in, please, the suspense is killing me!"

"Awww, my dear Oswald. You are so adorable when you are bewildered, did you know that? No, of course you didn't. You are too modest. Anyway, my beautiful Mr Mayor - I know what the problem is - well, it's really not so much a problem, it's just a fact that you need to know and come to terms with."

"Fine. Just tell me!"

"Oswald - sweetness - I think what you are is actually PANsexual."

"Pansexual?! What the hell is that?!"

"Well - Ozzy - I hope you don't mind me calling you that now - ah good, that is so lovely of you - you're so sweet. Anyway - Ozzy (giggle) - pansexual means that you love people for what's up here (she pointed to her temple) and in here (she took his hand and gently placed it on her upper chest - he gasped, feeling her fluttering heartbeat racing beneath his fingers) "and not down here" (she nodded discreetly down in the direction of her groin). "Do you know what I'm getting at now?"

"Erm - yes, yes, of course I do. I am not THAT slow, Miss Newlove! But…. I really can't believe it. I mean, I have felt a small measure of affection towards women before - when they have pleased me, done what I wanted them to do, you know - but nothing - serious. Nothing at all….physical. Then again, I've been pretty much the same way with men too. It was just Jim, first...and then, Edward…" he tailed off awkwardly.

"It's all right Oswald - I know Edward was your first - well, proper crush, for want of a better expression. I know I am with him, but I never really wanted him, my love, it was always you, and I really did it just so I could be near to you - you know that. I will make sure Edward isn't hurt - I will think of a way where we all three can live together happily. We can be - well, quite bohemian, if you excuse the phrase! I know you are quite old-fashioned about such things, and that's one of the things I love about you - but we can make this work, I promise you! Just leave it all up to me! And as to Jim - well, you and he have a history, don't you? He saved your life, and you've saved his! He was your first friend. You are bound to feel something for him. But as to your feelings for women - perhaps you just needed to meet the right woman, Oswald. Someone with sympathy and understanding for who and what you are. And I like to think I do understand you and sympathise with you - even empathise a little - and now, I think you might understand me too. At least - a little bit." He 'hmphed' and looked away.

She bit her lip, sighed and released his hand from her clutches. His hand fell limply to his side. It felt like a lead weight all of a sudden. He just didn't know what to say or what to do. It was a state of being he was completely unused to - he usually managed to take control of any situation in some shape or form, but this latest revelation had really blown his mind.

This was all too much to take in. His stomach started to churn and his heart to lurch. Then his head started to spin - very fast. His whole world was being turned upside down. Because deep down, in the very depths of his mind and soul - he knew she was, almost certainly, correct in her analysis. The woman he had always thought to be intellectually inferior to him and despised for taking Ed away from him had worked it all out before anyone else - himself and Ed included. He supposed it was what she would call 'woman's intuition'.

"Oswald - darling - you have gone so pale. Are you all right? Here, come and sit down for a while."

Isabella took him by the hand again and led him over to the sofa. He followed her blindly, limping along like a lost puppy, clueless as to what was happening or what was now going to happen to him. He sat down slowly, trying to take in the full extent of what she had just told him.

Because this could very well mean that he was one side of the most ludicrous of love triangles - the kind that he would never in his wildest dreams - or nightmares - have imagined!

"Oh, Ozzy! Your poor hand - it feels so cold and clammy!" Isabella exclaimed with concern as she sat down beside him on the sofa. "I have upset you with what I just said, haven't I?" She rubbed his hand gently, trying to warm it. "Can I get you a glass of water?"

"I am….perfectly fine…." were the last faltering words Oswald uttered before he fainted and fell, lifeless, at Isabella's feet.

"Ozzy, darling! Can you hear me? Ozzy - speak to me please!"

He awoke to find himself lying on the sofa with his feet raised - his head supported by a cushion - and Isabella kneeling beside him, rubbing his hand vigorously. His tie had been loosened and his collar undone.

"Errrr...what the?"

Then he remembered, with a sudden jolt, what had just happened. "Oh - no…God, no!" he thought. He broke out into a cold sweat.

"Oh - Oswald - thank goodness!" she sighed, placing her hand on his forehead. "I was so worried about you! I thought I had made you ill."

"I am fine!" he protested, batting her hand away, and tried to raise himself up - but he collapsed back down onto the sofa again as the room started to spin. "Holy crap!" he grouched, gasping in frustration.

"Oh, Oswald! Please, take it easy, you have had a shock. You need to rest for a minute."

"This is ridiculous…" Oswald tried to sit up again, with the same frustrating outcome.

"Ozzy, Ozzy, dear, please - just lie still. Here, drink this, my love." She helped him raise himself up a little, supporting his head, and lifted the glass to his lips. He began to sip reluctantly, and then started to take deep, greedy gulps. He hadn't realised how thirsty he was!

"There, there," she soothed, as he finished quaffing the cool reviving liquid and stopped to take a breath. "Did you have enough?"

He looked at her archly and nodded. She gently helped him lower his head again.

"You - you've been undressing me…." Oswald heard the faint note of panic in his enfeebled voice.

"Shhhh, don't worry. I just needed to help you breathe easier, that's all. Your clothing is - well, so restrictive, so tight, it was suffocating you! I haven't touched you inappropriately, Oswald. I would never do that to you. Especially not when you were helpless and unconscious. I would never do anything to violate you."

She began stroking his hair. She started to hum a comforting tune.

Oswald closed his eyes, unable to resist enjoying the gentleness of her touch and the sweet sounds coming from her mouth. His mother had used to do that to him, and sung to him like that, when he was a child….and no-one had ever done that for him since.

Now his eyes were closed, his sense of smell intensified - and he suddenly realised that her scent was not unlike his mother's too. He sighed deeply and let this all wash over him like a sea of tranquillity. He knew he would soon be at her tender mercies - and he really didn't care anymore.

"There, you see," she said softly, her fingers lightly caressing his cheek, his lips and his forehead. "You can trust me Oswald. You are in safe hands now. You can always trust me - my love."

Later….

Oswald lay in bed with his silk pyjamas buttoned right to the top. He clutched at the bed sheets tightly, pulling them up high around his neck.

Isabella sat on the edge of the bed, in her own satin night attire, having tucked him in and given him an affectionate little kiss on his forehead. He had decided to allow that.

"Ed had to go out of town. He made me promise to look after you."

"Well, you seem to be doing a good job of that so far!" Oswald couldn't help the note of sarcasm. And now he realised that he was alone with Isabella. Anything could happen!

"Now, now, Oswald darling. There is no need for that. You know I won't do anything to you that you don't want me to. But you do look a little cold. Do you want me to come in and give you a cuddle - warm you up a little?"

"No! No, stay where you are." Oswald pulled the sheets even tighter around his neck. "You have done quite enough for me today. You may go!" he smiled stiffly as if to say, "And that's final!"

"Oh - very well," she sighed, sounding deeply disappointed. "But please - Ozzy - do call me if you need anything!" She smiled, blew a kiss at him, patted the bedcovers and then got up to leave. "I'll be just next door, in the spare room."

The last thing Oswald wanted to have was a nightmare. But it came to him, horribly vivid, first the death of his mother, then his father, by dagger and poison respectively. He never usually dreamt about the both of them like this. They were there haunting him, taunting him, telling him that their deaths were all his fault, that he would go to hell for it.

He awoke screaming, sitting bolt upright in bed. He was shaking, sweating, gasping, and his heart was palpitating wildly. Then he started weeping - weeping with relief that it was a dream, but with sorrow that his parents really were dead, and the knowledge that he did still blame himself for their violent ends.

He hadn't thought to lock his door.

"Oswald - dearest!" Isabella rushed into the room, her huge eyes wide and brows furrowed with concern. "What's the matter?"

"I…...I….had a bad dream, that's all."

"A dream? It sounded like you were being murdered!" Isabella cried, her own eyes filling up with tears.

"I am all right," Oswald protested unconvincingly. He was still shaking and white in the face.

"No, you're not. You're trembling. And you're so pale! Oh, my poor boy!"

Isabella went to his side, despite his protestations. She sat down slowly on the edge of the bed, and he shrank back from her, but she reached out and took his hands in hers, and he didn't try to remove them from her grasp.

"That's it. It's alright dear. Let me hold you, Oswald. You will feel so much better! I promise - all I'll do is hold you, nothing more."

He sighed fatalistically. He nodded slowly, closing his eyes in surrender. He felt so very tired now - too tired to fight any more. He felt emotionally and physically exhausted!

Ed was absent. She was here. He needed someone, and she needed him. Maybe that wasn't such a very complicated equation after all.

She let go his hands and then wrapped her arms very carefully and gently around his back. Then she rubbed it comfortingly.

He tentatively slipped his arms around her waist - holding her very lightly and cautiously. Then she felt him sigh and his body slacken in her arms. "That's it," she whispered. She squeezed him just a little and he returned the gesture, holding her a little closer. He put his head on her shoulder.

She moved her hand to his head and began stroking his hair gently and rhythmically. Then she began rocking to and fro slowly. He gave a little grunt of contentment and his breathing calmed and deepened.

"That's it - just relax, my love. I will keep you safe from the monsters in your dreams. I will chase them all away…."


End file.
